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Double Cream of Joy

Almost nothing is perfect nowadays; a curry fish head that isn’t spicy enough, a menthol cigarette that isn’t cooling enough, even the lid on a refreshing Coke can snaps before the can is opened. I’m afraid we’re all living in a world now where “that will do” predominates our lifestyle. Everything’s just “that will do.”

How did one come along a cross-eyed looking car, with a rear end that looks like a face smudged with melting candles thought, “Mmm I like this, I would look good with this parked along the high streets. Champagnes would pop and confetti’s would be sprinkled from the heavens.” I’m sorry but a car has to offer a sense of joy even if it’s as old as your grandfather’s chequered slacks.

Yes, most of you may not be able to comprehend what I’m on about and considering 99.99% of Malaysians spend half their lives on our pimply roads, a sensible and practical car is the way to go, even if it’s as dreary as learning to knit. But our readers would understand that a chassis with four wheels is not just about getting from Point A to Point B in the same way one would go through to catch a fish by the lake, it’s about being on a roller coaster ride that shakes every kid in us half to death. Even if it means going through multiple breakdowns.

Fortunately we have imports, and the Germans have been very promising at deliver fun and excitement with the same practicality of a door mat. The Golf Mk1 was a revelation; it showed the world that you don’t need two million horsepower from a turbo the size of your bottom to have fun with a car. The revival of the Mark V was brought VW back with the vengeance and the Mark VI followed suit. This here, this white cream of dreams is the R.

I can’t remember how many times I’ve stressed this but boys will be boys. No petrol head would justify that calling without fiddling a ride that many would dub as supreme so an Owen Developments K04 turbo kit replaced the stock turbine while the puny standard intercooler was replaced with a front-mount unit from Forge Motorsports along with a diverter valve from the same.

Linked to a 3-inch Milltek downpipe with 100-cell race catalytic converter, the R exhales through a Milltek non-resonated exhaust with ceramic black tailpipes that resembles an oversized double-barrel shotgun from the old west. Oh also, pop the hood and check out the diabetically-sweet carbon fiber air intake.

With such extensive mods, a GIAC Stage 3 ECU remap ensures this R is as well fed as race-bred horse. The Golf’s flawlessly seamless transmission remains untouched but its nimble handling has been further fine-tuned with KW DDC coilovers with the KW anti-roll kit providing more strength at where the flex occurs. AP Racing 6-pot calipers with AP Racing 365mm ventilated rotors and pads at the front and Tarox 310mm rotors and Hawk HP Plus pads holds the R back like a bull would be on chains as thick a whale.

But none of these would overshadow the 19-inch BBS CHR wheels in Michelin rubber much like the Queen wouldn’t be overshadowed by her tapioca farmer peasant. On the inside an air-vent gauge pod, a carbon fiber gear surround and aluminium foot rest all from Osir adds a hint of boy racer vibe to the surroundings while the TID styling carbon fiber paddle shifters just make every gear shift seem, much like the car, special.

It might be lacking the extensive go-fast bits that some of our other features bring to the party but every so often, you start off with a platform that is already a revelation and hence, less essentially turns to more… just like this car.

Car: Volkswagen Golf R
Engine Mods: Owen Developments K04 turbo kit, Forge Motorsports front-mount intercooler, Forge Motorsports diverter valve, Milltek 3-inch downpipe with 100-cell race catalytic converter, Milltek non-resonated exhaust with ceramic black tailpipe, Gruppe M carbon fiber air intake
Electronics: GIAC Stage 3 ECU remap
Transmission: Stock
Chassis & Handling: KW DDC coilovers, KW anti-roll kit
Brakes: AP Racing 6-piston calipers + AP Racing 365mm ventilated rotors + AP Racing brake pads (front), Tarox 310mm ventilated rotors + Hawk HP Plus brake pads (rear)
Wheels &Tyres: BBS CHR 19x8jj +47, Michelin Pilot Sport 235/35/19
Interior: Osir air-vent gauge pod, Osir carbon fiber gear surround, Osiraluminium foot rest, TID Styling carbon fiber paddle-shifters, RNS510 DVD navigation system with reverse camera
Exterior: Osir carbon fiber rear spoiler
Garage: X-Tune –,

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